I have been absent from a lot of my hobbies that make me happy. I have been so exhausted (mentally, physically) since finishing school. It was definitely not expected, but I am glad it happened. I was able to rest and just not do anything. It was a much needed break, however, I am finding it increasingly more difficult to get back into those things I took a break from. (i.e. This blog) 

I think I am having a hard time because, I have been going through this battle of self-doubt for the past few weeks/months. It is the most annoying thing I have experienced in a while and I just want it to go away. It is so frustrating because I want to do so much but I am having such a difficult time. I also think I am being such a Libra right now. I keep thinking I need to have everything planned out and go according to what ever plan that is. It's not realistic. I can plan as much as I feel like but how ever the universe is feeling, those plans may change. There is that saying

"You want to make God laugh, tell him your plan."

I need to understand that none of this is perfect and the more I strive for this imaginary perfection, the further and further away I will push myself away from things that make me happy. 

I'm not really sure where this post is going, but I just wanted to journal this moment and that is what I want my blog to be. A journal. I want it to be a space where I can share my thoughts with others, but also the place I turn to when I just need to write it out. 

I'm going to wrap this post up with a solution because I just read this over and I sound like a crybaby. I am going to STOP:

1. Second guessing myself

2. Complaining about things I CAN change

3. Follow through with the commitments I have made to my blog, my photography and my YouTube channel

4. Be proud of all the things I have accomplished and clap for myself from time to time

I appreciate you all!

-Kae